Celi Trépanier is the author of Educating Your Gifted Child:
How One Public School Teacher Embraced Homeschooling.
But
you are gifted, you should be at the top of your class!
I’ve
been writing about gifted children for a few years now, and the more I write,
and the more I connect with parents of gifted children, the more I realize just
how misunderstood giftedness is, even among professionals who should have
sufficient knowledge of giftedness in children. We need to shed light on what
giftedness really is, and try to dispel the myths and misconceptions many
believe about gifted children.
Sam
is in my class this year. He’s gifted, so thankfully I won’t need to worry much
about him because I do have a few students who will really need my help!
The
following is a list of facts, traits and issues many would not recognize as a
part of giftedness in children. Why such a list? It’s time to banish the many
widely-held inaccurate perceptions of the gifted child. The pervasive but
misguided idea of the gifted child—the child who excels in school, is
well-behaved, is a natural leader and is emotionally mature—is the elephant in
the room and that elephant needs to leave.
We
need the facts to prevail so that gifted children can have, as all children
should, the education and support they need to grow up to be happy and thriving
adults.
I’m
tired of hearing about her gifted child. What can be so hard about raising a
smart kid? They always do well in school.
1. It is widely
acknowledged that giftedness is an inherent attribute.
Although
a few believe giftedness can be achieved through nurturing, the overwhelming
consensus is that giftedness is present at birth, an inherited trait. Chances
are very high that one or both parents of a gifted child, as well as siblings,
are also gifted. Approximately 2% of the population is said to be gifted
regardless of race, culture or socioeconomic status. It is a neurodiversity
which does not discriminate.
2. Gifted children do
not always excel in school.
Being
gifted is no guarantee of success in school or later in life. For many various
reasons, a gifted child will not always score well on tests, ace every
assignment or turn in his homework. Despite having above-average cognitive abilities,
if a gifted child’s educational needs are not met appropriately, he may not
show exceptional achievement in school. Many gifted children underachieve in
school and often drop out.
3. Gifted children
can and do have learning disabilities.
As
with any child, a gifted child may have learning disabilities which can
negatively influence their achievement in school. Unfortunately, gifted
children with learning disabilities, also referred to as twice-exceptional,
often go unidentified because their advanced cognitive abilities often mask
their learning disabilities. It is common that neither the giftedness nor the
learning disability are recognized or addressed in school.
4. Gifted children
often develop asynchronously.
Asynchronous
development is an imbalance or uneven growth of developing traits, skills and
abilities—a gifted child’s intellectual abilities can be years ahead of their
emotional maturity and social skills. A 12 year old child who understands high
school algebra and science, but is unable to sleep at night alone without a
nightlight, a fan and all of his stuffed animals is an example of asynchronous
development in a gifted child.
5. Gifted children
can have overexcitabilities (OE’s).
These
are the emotional intensities and sensitivities set off by various forms of
physical and psychological stimuli. A constant buzzing sound which causes
extreme irritability and the inability to move on until the sound is located
and stopped; the strong emotional reaction of shaking and vomiting from seeing
a neighbor’s dog lying in the road after being hit by a car; and the gritty
texture in`her mom’s turkey gravy which causes a gifted teen to totally refrain
from eating the family’s holiday dinner are all examples of OE’s.
6. Gifted children
often have difficulty finding like-minded friends.
Gifted
children, with their intellectual, emotional and developmental differences, can
have a difficult time finding friends or same-age peers who share and
understand their intellectual interests and quirky traits. Parents of gifted
children find this common situation the most painful to watch their gifted
children experience.
7. Gifted children
often feel like they don’t fit in.
They
realize early on that they may be out of step or out of sync with children
their own age. Feelings of isolation and not belonging can eventually lead to
emotional struggles, depression, dropping out of school and even suicide.
8. Gifted children
are gifted in and out of school.
It
is not only an educational designation or label administered by schools to
identify high-achieving children. The emotional intensities, asynchrony and
social struggles leave school with the gifted child and follow him home. Being
gifted is who they are, not how well they do in school.
9. Being gifted is
not a net-positive situation.
Looking
back at the above list, there are many facts about giftedness which demonstrate
that being gifted is not an all-good-all-the-time situation. Being smarter or
able to grasp and master concepts and skills above grade level is not a guarantee
that any child has it made and will be successful in life.
10. Raising a gifted
child is not easy.
Given
the educational considerations, overexcitabilities, social struggles and
asynchrony, life with a gifted child can easily come with its share of bumps in
the road. Additionally, the reality that so many only see the stereotypical
gifted child—the child who has it made—means parents find little support or
empathy among other parents or adults when they need it most.
I
wish my child could be gifted and get to attend special classes. Personally, I
think all children are gifted and should be able to be in the gifted program.
Giftedness
has its upsides and it downsides. It has many attributes which are
misunderstood by many and are often not associated with giftedness in children.
Because of this, the education of our gifted learners has been a global concern
for some time. Every child should be able to receive an education which
best meets his or her needs and offers the best chance to reach their full
potential. Gifted children should, too.
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